Stuck on Someone? A Practical Guide to Moving On in Islam

You’re staring at your phone, waiting for a notification that you know isn’t coming, or maybe you’re replaying a conversation in your head for the hundredth time. It feels heavy. It feels like you’re losing a piece of yourself to someone who might not even be thinking about you.

Moving on in Islam isn't about suppressing your emotions or pretending they don't exist. It’s about recalibrating your heart toward the only One who will never leave you or disappoint you. When we fixate on a person, we often turn them into an idol in our hearts, placing expectations on them that only Allah can fulfill.

Reclaiming Your Heart

The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us a powerful way to deal with the inevitable disappointments of life. When things don't go the way we envisioned, it’s a sign that our attachment needs to be redirected.

Arabic: اللَّهُمَّ لا سَهْلَ إِلا مَا جَعَلْتَهُ سَهْلاً وَأَنْتَ تَجْعَلُ الْحَزْنَ إِذَا شِئْتَ سَهْلاً

Translation: "O Allah, there is no ease except in that which You have made easy, and You make the difficulty, if You wish, easy."

Transliteration: Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja'altahu sahla, wa anta taj'alul-hazna idha shi'ta sahla.

— Sahih Ibn Hibban 974

This isn't just a generic dua. It’s a recognition that your heart is in the hands of the Creator. If you are struggling to let go, ask Him to make the process easy for you. Acknowledge that the hazn (the difficulty/grief) you are feeling is something He can remove in an instant.

Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Often, we struggle to move on because we are addicted to the 'what-ifs.' We romanticize the past or obsess over a future that was never promised to us. But Islam teaches us tawakkul—radical trust in Allah’s plan. If someone is meant to be in your life, no amount of running away will keep them from you. If they are not, no amount of pining will bring them closer.

Think of it this way: when you spend your prayer (salah) thinking about them, you are essentially giving them your worship. Your heart is the most precious thing you own; don't give the keys to someone who doesn't know how to treasure it.

Practical Steps to Move Forward

1. Curate Your Digital Space: If their social media profile is a trigger, mute or unfollow. You aren't being petty; you are protecting your peace.
2. Shift the Focus: When a thought of them creeps in, replace it immediately with a dhikr (remembrance). It’s a mental discipline. Say SubhanAllah or Astaghfirullah until the thought loses its grip.
3. Reflect on the Reality: Remind yourself that Allah is Al-Wadud (The Most Loving). Any love you felt for a creation is just a tiny drop from the ocean of His love for you.

Can I make dua to get them back?

It is human to want what we want, but the wisest way to make dua is to ask Allah for what is best for your deen and your future. If the relationship was meant for you, it would have been easy. If it’s causing you distress and distance from Allah, letting it go is a form of worship in itself.

"But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not." (Al-Baqarah 2:216)

Key Takeaway

Moving on isn't a linear process. Some days you’ll feel fine, and other days you’ll feel like you’re back at square one. Be kind to yourself. Allah sees your struggle to guard your heart, and that struggle is, in itself, a form of jihad against your nafs.

May Allah fill your heart with such contentment in Him that you no longer feel the absence of anything else. O Allah, grant us hearts that are attached only to You and protect us from the pain of misplaced longing. Ameen.